


Hotblood! The Musical

by emmykay



Category: Hotblood!
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Musicals, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmykay/pseuds/emmykay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If HotBlood! The Musical existed, and was produced by Disney with lyrics written by me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Asa's Money Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asa's theme (the "I want") song.
> 
> Asa Langley as a sort of weird Disney villian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've abandoned historical accuracy, meter, rhythm and scansion for a meager return of funny. (FWIW, which is 2 cents, I do think it best spoken aloud.)
> 
> Based upon [this tumblr post](http://hotbloodwest.tumblr.com/post/68421223247) and also, a little, on[ this one.](http://hotbloodwest.tumblr.com/post/68885348155)
> 
> * * *

_(scene: on porch of Wakefield Langley office, Asa sitting on a stool, drink in hand)_

I started out poor and good  
(More like good and poor)  
But I knew someday, I'd get far far away

Church'll have you believe  
the love of money is the root of all evil  
And avarice is a mortal sin,  
But I couldn't wait to begin 

Going down the road paved with gold, (echo: gold, gold, gold)  
All the things bought and sold (echo: sold, sold, sold)

And get filthy, stinkin' rich! _(Asa smashes the glass on the ground)_

_(Rook, Juniper, Mr. Holiday jump out behind bushes as backup singers)_

Chorus:  
Silver, copper, nickels and dimes  
There ain't nothing in the world ever so fine  
As black ink splashing in my accounts receivable  
So delicious, solid, so believable

From the first penny I'd ever earned  
To the last dollar I'll burn _(Asa ignites bill to light up cigarette, but puts out fire before damage is too extensive.)_

I knew I'd found my calling  
I'll be an earner, be a baller  
With Spanish reals, French francs, gold bullion,  
And the good old American dollar!

 _(image zooms in on coinage, spoken)_ You know, Lady Liberty is sitting on a rock because money is the bedrock of our country! America the Beautiful by the dawn's early light because you can see money everywhere you look! _(background singers are saluting while singing: "Bombs bursting in air")_ There! An eagle!

 _Juniper:_ Yeeehaaw!

Chorus:  
Silver, copper, nickels and dimes  
There ain't nothing in the world ever so fine  
As black ink splashing in my accounts receivable  
So delicious, solid, so believable

The bite of gold under my teeth  
Is better than bread, better than meat

Half-dimes, pennies, dinero, shillings  
Pounds and pence, even tooth fillings! _(Mr. Holiday smiles, a huge metallic glint out of the side of his mouth)_

Cash on the barrel, bent and spread, giving it  
Fisting it, hard and fast, or taking it slow liquid assets drip drip dripping it _(pauses, looks out into the distance while licking chops, then jerks back to attention)_

Hell, I can go all sorts of ways!  
It makes me soooo gaaay!  
 _(spoken)_ I mean it makes me rolling-in-coin-while-naked happy. I was gay before then.

Some say I made my money cheating and stealing, double-dealing,  
And if it was you, _(gestures to Rook)_ I'd be feeling...hurt  
Cause you're saying I'm greedy  
and swindling from the needy.  
Making my money  
from another's tragedy.

But I ain't ashamed of how I earned my fat stacks,  
Going to keep fancy duds on my back, that's a fact.

Chorus:  
Silver, copper, nickels and dimes  
There ain't nothing in the world ever so fine  
As black ink splashing in my accounts receivable  
So delicious, solid, so believable

 _(spoken)_ And if you cross me, well,  
 _(laughs)_ we're going to have business.  
 _Door marked "Private: Owner Only" slams shuts behind him: ba-boom._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to think about the money/currency that Asa would be familiar with.
> 
> Lady Liberty sitting on a rock was a common motif on period coins.  
> "Eagle" based nomenclature for American money was a real thing.  
> Spanish currency was legal tender in the USA until 1857.  
> The word 'bullion' has been around since at least Louis XIII.  
> Paper money would not be printed by the United States until 1861. (wikipedia entries on American money and coins, bullion, Spanish dollar)


	2. Something Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asa's got a plan, but Rook is not happy about it. Lyrics written to the tune of (and occasionally borrowed from) "Something There" from Disney's _Beauty and the Beast_ (1991). Rated for language. Thinking about the [these couple of pages](http://hotbloodcomic.com/post/89226852310) from Chapter 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asa as the Beast, Rook as Belle. Maybe in a minor key?

**Rook:**  
There's something angry, and full-on mean  
But he was sure and he was smart and looked so clean  
I worked for him all winter long  
But then along came something wrong.

 **Asa:**  
He worked for me and I thought it swell  
And when I leaned, he stood up tall  
We shared so much, he knows me well,  
But then his look - is there something wrong after all?

 **Rook:**  
New and seriously alarming  
Who'd have thought that this could pass  
True, he's no Prince Charming  
But there's something in him that screams "I'm an ass." 

**Feng:**  
Well, what have we here? 

**Juniper:**  
Well, goodness me!

 **Dixon:**  
Well, what has been sown?

 **Juniper:**  
Well, what indeed? 

**Feng:**  
And who'd have guessed they'd fall apart on their own? 

**Asa:**  
I have this grudge, I have the tools,  
To keep me back, Wakefield's a fool

 **Feng, Juniper, Dixon:**  
Men are men, money is money  
After the fall, what can be? 

**Asa:**  
My piece is said, I wonder how I fared  
He just sat there and stared  
Can it be, no, it can't. I'll just ignore  
But then he's never looked at me that way before.

 **Rook:**  
We might be close, we may be friends  
But there's something wrong with his ends,  
He's rotten right on through and so damn sore  
I wonder why I didn't see it there before

 **Juniper:**  
It's so outlandish.

 **Feng, Juniper, Dixon:**  
We'll wait and see, a few days more  
There may be something different than was there before

 **Rook:**  
I want no part of this fool plan, it really sucks  
This is something wrong and most fucked up  
Can he really do this? Find a train and blow it up?

**Asa:**  
C'mon, he's done things worse,  
Was I wrong? Did I fuck this up?  
Well, it's his choice to leave or stay,  
To break the law or walk away.

 **Dixon:**  
If Rook leaves, we'll know for sure  
There's something different than was there before

 **Juniper:**  
If Rook stays, what's in store?  
There may be something different than was there before


End file.
